The holidays are a time of love, laughter and joy; or at least ideally that’s what we all want them to be. It is the perfect presentation of the romanticized view we hold of love, family, and romance (Every kiss begins with Kay!). The Commercials reflect the joy, connection, and wholesome embrace of goodwill and peace. It is also the perfect recipe for comparison and feeling slapped with the loneliness of being reminded of everything you do not have and not being where you should be. Chances are that the realities of the holidays are filled with stress, loneliness and disappointment especially when you are not able to spend quality time with those you love.

A common theme during the holidays is the slight despondence of where we are relationally. The pressure of either following through with the expectations of the relationships we hold, or of being involved in the societal expectations of having family and relationships. This time can really highlight our own insecurities of what is and what should be.

When feeling overwhelmed, consider the following tips:

Taking a time out:

The significance of down-time or alone time is highly underestimated, it can give us a chance to recalibrate and re-center when stressed. Alone time or me-time could be going for a walk; going to the store; going to a separate room to read; watch television or to go on social media. Giving yourself time alone when feeling overwhelmed and pulled in every direction can give that much needed time out for our minds and body to settle back down.

Keep Things Simple and Light:

We want the holidays to be a fantastic memory and at times take on too much in order to make the experience memorable and extravagant. Sometimes it's not the negativity (of ourselves or others) or the magnitude of something that affects our mental health, but our inability to handle the pressure of seemingly having too many things to do at one time; in other words feeling overwhelmed. It is important to remind ourselves of the core reason for getting together: sharing in love and joy in each other's company. If dinner seems too stressful to cook everything, have it catered or bring in a potluck type meal. Keep it as simple as possible.

H.A.L.T.

Stress is not just the things that are being put on you, but at times things that are unknown, uncertain or the absence of a routine/structure that bring about these manifestations of stress and anxiety. HALT is an acronym that is helpful to address: Hungry. Angry, Lonely, Tired. When you are experiencing more than one of these at any given time, you are your subconscious fear's worst enemy. Things that we could otherwise cope with and talk through will become triggers. Managing these 4 things throughout the day and making sure not more than one are suffering at any given time will help keep emotions at baseline.

Maintaining a Sense of Acceptance and Flexibility

When things are not going as planned, our anxiety may flair up. Anxiety is just our mind's way of trying to tell us that something is amiss and that we are losing control. The best way to manage this anxiety is to do the things that bring control over the situation. To gather just enough information to be able to maintain your sense of safety and to know what to look for and what to do in the meantime. Then telling yourself what it is that you are doing or have done to control what you can.

Feel the Love

One of the biggest emotional rushes can come from the love of a significant other, parent, child, sibling, as well as from friends -- and even your dog or cat. At this time when you are unable to be with family or loved ones, seek out someone who will not be judgmental, but will give you some moments of unconditional love and support. Avoid the emotional blackmailing or passive aggressive ones who appear to be providing you with love and support, only to put you down or make you end up feeling worse.

Pamper Yourself

Do something to treat yourself, such as a eating a favorite little snack, taking a 30-minute nap, catching a movie matinee, indulging with a massage, or relaxing with a warm bath. Taking a break from your routine to watch a great (or favorite) movie, listen to inspiring music, laugh at your favorite comedian, or view some beautiful art. Not only will you have a temporary diversion from your troubles, but the strong emotional reaction you receive from the source can provide just the lift you need to tackle the troubles you face. Doing something just for you -- taking care of yourself -- away from the stresses and rush of the day can be doubly rewarding as it not only breaks the routine of the day, but also allows you to do something just for yourself.

The greatest part about these tips is that none of them takes much effort to accomplish while providing you with at least a temporary reprieve from the things that are troubling you and giving you the mental boost you need to carry on with your life. Remember what Richard Carlson says in his best-selling book of the same name: don't sweat the small stuff -- and it's all small stuff. It's easy to let a bunch of small setbacks build up into something that drags us down, but you should always try your best to see the bigger picture, pushing aside the insignificant issues so that you can focus on the things that really matter in your life.