Does Our Sense Of Purpose Have To Come From Our Careers?

 We grow up with everyone from our parents, family members, peers and teachers asking us what we want to be when we grow up. Having that question asked from an age as early as 5yrs old, imprints on us the need to have a greater sense of meaning from our careers. We oftentimes conflate purpose with our careers also because we spend a majority of our day at work, or other activities associated with our jobs.

Having a sense of purpose defines why what we are doing is worthwhile and brings with it feelings of passion, and drive. We have our days outlined and defined by what society deems to be important, and if that is not in alignment with what we value, we start to wonder what the point of all the effort is.

While it would be amazing to have a career that supports the feeling of purpose and making an impact on our own lives, that of others or humanity as a whole, it does not have to be come from what we do for a living.

I believe our lives as a whole need to have elements of purpose sprinkled throughout in all aspects of our lives. For example, if we were to segment my life, it would consist of my career, children, romantic relationships, family members, social, health, hobbies, and spirituality. To feel as though my life has purpose, I would need to find elements in each of these 8 aspects that make up my life.

For those who feel unfulfilled in their jobs, I would ask them to reframe the benefits of working where they are at. I encourage my clients to see their jobs as a way to fund their passions. The vacations, hobbies, eating out, wardrobe updates, jewels etc. They could also find ways to associate the job requirements or the people they work with as extensions of their personal values whether that is helping other people, creating things that benefit society as a whole, finding coworkers with similar ideologies, or having customers to connect to.

It seems wonderful in theory; however, it can be challenging to put it into practice because of our inner critic. Inner criticism would be the nagging voice we hear that puts down some element of achievement or aspect of our personalities. Here are a few steps for shutting the inner critic down.

-Ask yourself "Is this message true? Is the story I am telling myself about this accurate.

-Do I have evidence to support this belief? Is this belief general in an overall sense or specific to an incident?" By breaking it down, we can decipher the critic from our truth. It helps to give it a name, an identity, an image so it can be separated from who you are and addressed as a separate entity when it speaks up. Think about the negative criticism, how it is worded in your mind and how it makes you feel. Imagine a character in popular media that reminds you of how this talk manifests and then give it a name. Mine would be Victoria Grayson from the TV show Revenge.

-Start to recognize that just because they're having thoughts doesn't make them *true* Pause, reassess, and release those thoughts? By challenging the basis and significance of occurrence. If my negative thought is that I am not a good mother, I would first have to define what it means to be a good mother, see if I have met those criteria that day, and see if the concern I have is a general, or specific fear. Then give myself some grace to forgive whatever I believe to be a shortcoming in that area and make a specific and directive plan to change course.

-Ask what are the repercussions of taking this step? Repercussions would be the difficulty in sitting and facing these negative beliefs and understanding where they came from in the first place. That awareness can be daunting. It takes courage to face and challenge these negative inner critics.

Awareness is power. There are some negative criticisms that may never go away because they are so deeply ingrained in our psyche. Through this awareness, we can see it coming, understand why it is there, challenge the validity of the thought and actively push past the hesitation and fear that is there.

Without honoring where we are at the moment, we will never truly be satisfied with where we are going or any improvement that has been made. We will continue chasing after a vision that is rapidly changing of what it means to be better without the joy and satisfaction of what we have overcome. It is necessary to be satisfied with the work we have done on self-improvement up to this point- no matter how small in order to truly be able to love ourselves and our journey.